My Lover , My Love: The Viking’s Realization
by DazzledByTheNorthman
Summary: Eric finally acknowledges his true feelings for Sookie.


**My Lover, My Love: The Viking's Realization**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or stories from the Southern Vampire Mysteries series, they belong to Charlaine Harris.

A/N: The following conversation between Master and Child takes place after the events in From Dead to Worse but before those of Dead and Gone.

Summary: Eric finally acknowledges his true feelings for Sookie.

I pushed back from my desk, stood and stretched.

How had it all come to this?

There was a perfunctory knock on the door and Pam entered. She closed the door behind her, sat in one of the guest chairs in front of my desk and said the words that I desperately wanted to hear…"Master, the King has departed for Nevada."

I closed my eyes briefly and tried to determine my next move. For the last five weeks I had been at the new King of Louisiana's (as well as Nevada and Arkansas) beck and call. When I wasn't leading his contingent on tours of my Area, going over Fangtasia's financials with his accountants and generally justifying my existence to the new regime, I was dealing with Felipe's underlings Sandy and Victor. I knew that neither was to be trusted.

I opened my eyes and looked at my child. She shook her head in answer to the question which I silently asked her. I leaned back in my chair and planted my feet on the corner of the desk.

As Maker and Child this silent mind to mind communication was our preferred mode of 'speaking'. There was however, another reason why we chose to do so now. I was convinced that Felipe's people had bugged my office and car. Always the pragmatist, I knew that as the only surviving Sheriff of the Queen of Louisiana, I 'bore watching'. Had my and Felipe's roles been reversed I would have done the same thing. They wanted to know all there was to know about Eric Northman – his habits, his haunts and his associates. I knew for instance, that all of the vampires who were loyal and showed me fealty had been questioned by either Sandy or Victor. They wanted to know what kind of leader and boss I was. Was I harsh, fair, callous or cruel? Did I rule by fear or intimidation? What it boiled down to was that they were assessing what type of a potential threat I would pose to their regime. Would I challenge Felipe for Louisiana, would I go to war to get back what I thought was 'rightfully mine'?

"_Why don't you call her?" _Pam asked

"_I have wanted to but…" _I trailed off

For these past few weeks I have felt the torment that my Blood Bonded has been enduring. I have sensed her pain, her anger, her uncertainty, her longing, her loneliness, her despair every emotion transmitted through our Blood Bond. I in turn sent reassurance, encouragement and affection via the bond back to her. But more than that, I sent my love. In response, I felt affection (albeit tentative) flow from her. Love, how had it all come to this? How could it be that I could possibly love a mere human? Hmmm, but Sookie Stackhouse is no mere human, she is a gifted telepath and part fae.

"_You love her." _Pam stated.

Even after all this time it is still uncanny how well my Child knows me.

"_We are Bonded." _I responded, hesitant to confirm what I fear may be true.

I took my feet off the desk, propped my hands on my knees and rested my head on my steepled fingers.

Pam actually snorted out loud. She wasn't buying my lame denials.

"_You love her and_ _I know she feels the same for you"._

I opened my eyes to meet her gaze. Pam was nothing if not perceptive and observant.

"_Call it women's intuition. _(she smirked and rolled her eyes) _If you even needed confirmation it was the fact that she saved you and me in Rhodes; she risked her life to find you and save you."_

I reflected silently. Dare I hope that this human woman loved me and that that was the reason she saved my life?

"_When did you know that you loved her?" _Pam asked

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. It was no use trying to escape this any longer.

"_The night she was staked in Club Dead. The Were Herveaux had abandoned her and she was surrounded by hungry vampires and weres who could think of nothing but drinking her blood. The scent of her blood almost undid me and I almost gave in to drinking from her, but when she looked up at me with those eyes silently begging me not to, I knew right there that what I felt for her was something stronger than just lust. I knew then that I would do anything in my power to save her."_

I sighed again and rested my head in my hands. Throughout my existence, there were a few times when I felt every single moment of my 1000+ years. Tonight was definitely one of those times.

I heard my Child as she moved from her chair and stood behind me. Pam placed her hands on my shoulders and spoke.

"_Eric, go to her and tell her that you love her. I have known you a very long time and I have never seen you have these types of feelings for anyone, not even for one of our kind. Although I really should not be so surprised; you two are very alike, so the mutual attraction is not unexpected."_

I turned to her and raised one eyebrow questioningly.

"_You both have this zest for life, you are both fair in your treatment of others, you are both loyal, you both fight for what you believe in, you are both fiercely independent and you are both very stubborn. You both defend and protect what you see as yours fiercely._

I thought on what Pam had just said. It is true that there was a lot more to Sookie that just her beauty and sex appeal. There were these other qualities that I had experienced and have come to know very well. Yes, she and I shared a lot of them, but there were some that I could not stand in her; she was willful, she refused to ask for help, she charged headlong into battles without consideration that she could get hurt so intent was she on protecting her friends or family. The truth of the matter was that this woman had irrevocably altered me from the very first moment I had laid eyes on her. Since getting to know her, she had made my life more interesting, that's for sure.

I smiled as I remembered that first night when she had walked into Fangtasia with Compton. I had been enthralling the vermin when I caught a flash of white at the bar. White? There was **never** anyone dressed in white in Fangtasia; what innocent would choose to come here? The wearer of the dress was a petite blonde human. She was engaged in a conversation with Longfellow, and he was actually smiling! The man at her side placed his hand at the small of her back. She took that as a signal to end the conversation with the bartender. As he turned, I realized that the man was William Compton a fairly recent transplant to my Area. When she turned, I was intrigued, she was beautiful; she was luminous. This was no trashy, pathetic fangbanger. I watched as she and Compton moved to a booth and saw her reactions as the fangbangers approached him. I could read her body language well; she was angry, jealous and hurt by the blatant disrespect they paid her by ogling Compton! Was she his?

I actually laugh out loud now as I remember our first words to one another.

"Aren't you sweet."I had said

"Not especially."She had replied.

Then later after she had revealed that she read the policeman's mind and found out about the impending raid.

"I had a psychic once. It was incredible. I had said

"Did the psychic think so? She had asked in a tart huff.

It was with these feisty comebacks that she had managed to do something which a human has not done to me in centuries; she surprised me. I was surprised by her nerve and her bravery and I had to laugh. Ah, she was like a kitten who thought she was a tiger. Of two things I was certain at that moment; 1) Sookie Stackhouse was no ordinary human woman and 2) that would not be the last time that she did something that would surprise me. I found myself looking forward to getting to know her much better. I decided to ascertain the nature of her relationship to Compton after all he had introduced her as his 'friend'.

"She is mine." He had said. Compton looked sure of this, but Sookie's face reflected a different emotion. Hmmm, I saw that disparity in their perception of the situation as just the opening I needed and filed that information away for future reference and use.

Since I had regained my memory, I had been struck by the depth of the feelings I had for her. Sitting there on her bed the night of the takeover, inhaling her scent, it had all come back to me and it shook me to my very core.

As Pam returned to her seat, I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling and begun to assess my own situation, the direst part of which was that I had not had sex with anyone since Rhodes. I try to fool myself that it is just boredom on my part; after all I have seen and done every sexual act known to man (and a few they have not yet discovered) in my 1000+ years so there were always lulls when I was just not interested or motivated. Those lulls however, tended to last for a few days, a week at the most; it had been considerably longer than that this time.

I had been shunning the fangbangers here at the bar. I could not even deign to put up the façade of desiring them. In frustration one night, Pam growled that my 'angst' was 'hashing her mellow' and that my ''tude' was bad for business. I had raised my eyebrow at her, who the hell has my Child been hanging out with that she is picking up this 'lingo'? She was right, though. When the vermin were not satisfied, they spent less money in the bar or left to find other entertainment. So, I had 'adjusted my 'tude' and had kicked the nearest fangbanger across the room. The flutter was instantaneous, the fangbangers inwardly rejoiced; the mean vindictive vampire they had all come to see was back!

The fact that I can feel her emotions so strongly through the Blood Bond is having a serious impact on me. Humans are by nature very emotional creatures and females more so than males and Sookie's emotions were turbulent to say the least. One night during a meeting with my underlings in my office, I had been almost overcome with a wave of loneliness quickly followed by abject despair and sadness. It had taken everything in my power to appear unaffected and continue to receive updates from my underlings; but my Child is perceptive and knew that something was amiss. As I ended the meeting and my office emptied I laid my head on my desk and opened the Bond. I sent Sookie reassurance and affection to help buoy her sunken spirits. Our Bond was a two-way street; I felt what she felt and she felt what I felt. I had been keeping my own emotions in check and light and positive to ensure that she was never negatively impacted by me. I had leaned back in my chair and thought back to a happy memory from my childhood, laying in the grass on a sunny day, trying to discern the shapes of my favorite things in the white, fluffy clouds. I remembered being happy and content at that time and I had pushed those emotions through the Bond to her.

I smirk to myself now as I remember that later that same night, Pam had returned to my office after escorting my underlings out and grumbled that I was turning into an 'Emo' before glaring at me and leaving me to my thoughts. Is this what she meant, that I was becoming emotional? I usually felt one of two emotions, calm or anger. With this link to my Blood Bonded I was experiencing emotions I hadn't felt in decades. I tried to tell myself that I sent good emotions back to her to stave off her bad emotions' effect on me, but I knew it was more than that. I sent them because I didn't want her to **feel **sad, or lonely or abandoned.

Then there was the matter of all the other men in Sookie's life. Merlotte, the Shifter; his close and constant proximity to Sookie has always grated on my nerves and it is obvious that he wants her. What is also obvious though, is that Sookie does not see him in a romantic light. Then there is Quinn, the Weretiger; while he may have been in the running and at one point had Sookie's affection, I think that his betrayal of us to Felipe has ended any prospect of their relationship ever being reconciled. Herveaux, the Were was very attracted to her, but that nasty bit of business with his ex-girlfriend Debbie Pelt as well as Sookie's 'failure' to help his father become Pack Leader and then the murder of his lover has fractured their friendship. By far the biggest thorn in my side is Compton. He was her first love, her first lover. I believe that he truly loves her, but his betrayal cuts her the deepest and she has pushed him away. Can I compete with him and all that he represents to her? Do I want to compete with that? Do I want to be in the running as a suitor for Sookie? That was the million dollar question. The thing about all of her lovers and would be suitors is that they never seem to be able to protect her; I always had to step in and save the day. Whether it is from one of my own kind, from the shifters or from her own kind, I somehow put myself in a position to save her. I mean even when I was not in my right mind; my priority was to protect her. I tried to convince myself that I did so because she was an 'asset' and she was worth too much to us to for her to be injured or killed; that was the reason I worked hard to protect her. That was all partially true, but I knew that it was more than that. So many of the decisions and choices I have made lately have been with her in mind; the biggest of which was pledging fealty to Felipe. If I had not they would have taken her in the resulting battle. Even now these past weeks, the one thing that I have been doing – staying away from her is for her own protection and safety. I didn't want Felipe or his underlings to know just how strong the relationship I have with Sookie is or just how important she is to me. Therefore, if I kept my distance from Sookie while they were here, then they were lulled into thinking that there is no relationship to speak of outside of our business dealings.

This human woman has made me experience things I have not experienced in many decades. She makes me laugh…out loud, not just my customary sneer or smirk. I love her irreverent sense of humor. She made me feel loved. Those days when I was under the witch's curse were some of the best days of my entire existence, to feel cared for and loved was something that I never fathomed I could ever feel again since my own human life hand ended. But there was also pain. She had hurt me with her deeds, words and her willful actions; but still I loved her. I leap from my chair at this revelation and begin pacing the floor in front of my desk. I love her. I love her. I love Sookie Stackhouse. That's why I have done all that I have to save her, keep her safe, keep her happy, keep her alive. I even had her driveway paved! I stop pacing, hang my head and chuckle. Pam is right; I am an 'Emo'. I put my hand in my pocket and run my fingers over the item that has been my constant companion these past weeks; it is Sookie's elastic hair-tie, the bright blue one that I had used to hold my hair back when we were preparing for the Witch War. As I have been prone to do these past few weeks, I bring it my nose and inhale deeply. It smells like me, but the underlying scent is her. I close my eyes and drown in the scent of her and me mixed together.

I opened my eyes and looked up to see my Child smiling knowingly at me. It is not her usual smug, know-it-all smile; it is a soft smile that says that she understands that I have finally figured out this thing and that I have finally acknowledged my love for Sookie.

"_When I saw her with the tiger just before we left for New Orleans. I was jealous of him. Then when the Queen told me of her plan to have Bill seduce Sookie I was livid. When I forced Bill to tell her, I saw her heart break and I ached for her. I knew that there was a chance that she would hate me forever for forcing Bill to expose his treachery and betrayal, but I thought that she needed to know the truth."_

"_You truly do care for her! _Pam looked at me in awe and then with a steely look of determination.

"_Eric, go to her! Let her know how you feel."_

I looked at Pam and then nodded. She gave me an encouraging smile as I rushed from the office and raced to my car.

"_Close up the bar tonight, my Child, I am going to Bon Temps."_

Once behind the wheel of the Corvette, I let the Bond open with the force of my love.

"_I am on my way, my Lover, my Love, my Sookie."_

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